"Bonkers"

Well, with eight 20-20 matches played and seven won, Sussex are camped at the top of the southern division, peering down into the gloom to try and see who their nearest rivals are. What a fantastic start to the defence of our title! It's like supporting another team, another really successful and scarily classy team that you know your team will never be like.

But it is my team!

I did not have high hopes for Sussex and 2020 this year, and I think that not having high hopes is exactly how 2020 should be approached as a supporter. As soon as you start having high hopes about 2020 you are destined for a life of heart wrenching, room pacing, finger eating nervous tension which is completely incompatible with getting things done in the real world. Far better to embrace the fact that we will win and we will lose and that the losing part should not be agonised over. Only with this philosophy can I cope with 2020 cricket; I have decided to firmly believe that if we lose it does not matter. Luckily the team are approaching things far more competitively...

On Friday evening I was treated to an utterly delicious evening of 2020 at Hove. The visitors were Hampshire, one of our favourite teams to beat, and we bowled first which means that at least the first half of the match can be viewed in a state nearing relaxation. One exciting addition at Hove was a real live trumpet player who tootled Sussex by the Sea into the PA system at regular intervals - brilliant! The Sussex reply started badly with Matt going for a duck but what happened after that was just - in the words of Dizzee - ''bonkers''. I'm not sure I've ever seen the ball pounded around the ground like that before. It was men versus boys and all credit to Murray and McCullum. The game ended about 40 minutes early, just in time for the football, which could be nothing but an anticlimax after a display of such excitement and skill.
The winning continued on Sunday - albeit in a less sensational way - against another of our favourite teams to beat, Surrey.

So why - bearing in mind this could all change in the blink of an eye - are we doing so well? Because although there is definitely more luck involved in 2020 than in the other forms of the game, to win so consistently suggests we have a formula. I think the answer lies in three things:
1) We don't rely on one or two people to win - we are truly a team and every player is trusted and relied upon. So unlike other teams, we don't just crumble when our 'big' player loses his wicket 2) Most of the team are all-rounders (in the 2020 form of the game) which gives us a depth in both the batting and the bowling and 3) Holding Chris Nash back in the batting means we have a proper quality batter coming in just at the point when other counties would be starting to give up.

We also shouldn't underestimate our overseas players. The fact that two of them, certainly, love Sussex to bits (can't comment on McCullum) is so important. As is the fact that we don't over rely on them - the team is not built around them, they are genuinely part of the team.
Well done, Robbo.

Let's see what happens next...

Sky's the limit...

There are some good things to say about Sky's coverage of county cricket. For starters, they seem to show us an awful lot - more than our share, surely? Not that I'm complaining. Plus these days the pundits usually back Sussex to win when they do their little pre-match polls, which gives me a warm glow (as well, of course, as that sense of doom awaiting around the next corner). I will never be able to reconcile myself to Bob Willis or Paul Allott, but Nick Knight always seems like a lovely man and Ian Ward is reliably decent and occasionally surprising in a good way (e.g. when he's arguing about who's to blame for Yards being run out).

But some serious crimes are being committed.

Let's start with the clothes. Just who is responsible for those sand chinos they are all forced to stuff themselves into? I'm not a great fan of uniforms, but if you're going to have one, why deliberately choose one which just makes your audience think of chedder cheese? It's just not flattering. Please - dark trousers are the way forward when you're on tv and you're the ex-sports people rather than the actual sports people. Accept it.

Next thing: danger men. Before every match, when the teams are put up on the screen, two players' names (one from each side) get coloured in red. This is because they are the danger men, we are told - with special emphasis. (Am I the only person who immediately thinks of Dangermouse?) This title generally goes to the player most likely to hit the ball a long way. Have they noticed yet that this title is also the kiss of death? Why did Luke get out immediately? Because he was Sussex's danger man. Why did Gilchrist get out immediately? (great ball, Yas!) Because he was Middlesex's danger man. Why did Dwayne knock the ball around the ground? Because, on this occasion, since Luke was playing & Sky love Luke (as do we all), Dwayne wasn't the danger man. And why is it that the players who consistently and quietly provide the force to win the matches (& consistently pick up the man of the match awards too) are never the danger man? It's because the allocation of the title danger man is actually the equivalent of cricket's glamour award given to Sky's current cricketer crush. This is why James Kirtley and Michael Yardy will never be the danger men, whilst simultaneously ensuring that if they play well, Sussex will win.

Chedder Cheese

And finally - when will Sky notice that those silly questions they make the players answer before matches, so that 'interesting' facts about them can be displayed when they come out to bat, are treated with the derision they deserve by the players? 'Hmm', said Ward doubtfully at the revelation that Girls Aloud are Chris Nash's favourite band, as though every ounce of Chris Nash was being re-evaluated in the light of that knowledge. 'Dwayne Smith's lookalike is apparently Corey Collymore', stated Allott with the air of a man who really thought this might be possible. I'm going to break it to you gently, boys - they're winding you up.

But none of this detracted from an excellent Sussex win on Thursday night! When we were 30 something for 4, I must admit that I was just hoping we would get to 100 so that it wouldn't be too embassassing. But you know how it is with Sussex, there is also always that voice whispering - you never know, we might still do it. And do it we did, looking thoroughly the business in the field. So well done Sussex, on an emphatic start to the 2020 campaign - great work so far; I'm feeling the pride... (but please play properly against Derby in the CC)...

What's going on?!

What's going on?

I can't help but notice that since my honourable principal, Mr Cancell, issued the S188 confirming redundancies at work, after a perfect start to the season Sussex have lost two championship matches and one 40 over match. Is it that I've not been concentrating properly on Sussex & have let them down? Or is it that Sussex are merely reflecting my emotional world? Maybe this is part of some strange Truman Showesque conspiracy, where Sussex only exist in my reality, to reinforce and mirror my moods, and the players are actually actors employed to work at Hove on days when I can get down there? Maureen and Joe and the rest of the Sussex faithful are really extras employed on a daily basis to sit in deckchairs and do the crossword. And the no 7 bus only runs when the call comes down from London that I am on my way.

Ok, there are probably more plausible explanations for why Sussex are suddenly looking more Division 2 than A-team. Maybe we are missing our Yards, I was thinking today on the way home when I received the 'we lost' text. We miss his batting and the stability he brings, and I can't help but think that he might be better with the love than Murray Goodwin when players are feeling a bit down. Maybe Chris Nash is in a bit too much of a rush to get his 1000 runs and maybe Matt is trying too hard. And maybe it's better to have our blip now than in September...

My prediction? We'll win next week's match at Hove and move on to the 2020 with our heads held high. Joyce & Goodwin to get centuries v Worcester. You read it here first. (All 3 of you.)

PS Belated well dones to: Robin for being April's man of the month; to Rana for that century; to Hoddy for two great innings (we knew you could do it); and to Luke and Yards for the World Cup...

Rana under the spotlight again

The pitch inspectors weren't interested at Bristol, but rumours suggest it's only a question of time before the player inspectors accuse Rana Naved of overperformance. After all, the evidence is there for all to see. In his first match back for Sussex this summer, Rana sent the stumps clattering and the batsmen back to the pavilion with the ball, gathering 7 wickets; he was also on fire with the bat, smashing 68 runs (not out) on a wicket which saw most (Surrey)batsmen scambling to reach double figures. All this from a man who barely made an impression with bat or ball over the last two seasons when playing for Yorkshire.

Rana: too good?

The reason for such immediate and impressive quality performance? Suspicions have been raised that Rana has been taking the little-known performance enhancing drug, phasmatis sussex per profundum (also known as the spirit of sussex), a stimulant which raises self-esteem, creating emotions of love and well-being, and a general sense of belonging. With the spotlight now on Rana's excellent performances, insiders suggest that there is growing pressure on all of the Sussex squad to be tested for the drug after a decade of overperformance which has seen them collect numerous trophies. Mark Robinson, the club manager, will be under particular scrutiny having openly spoken about the family atmosphere at the club and the focus on team-work at the expense of ego.

A statement issued by Yorkshire County Cricket Club, Rana's previous county, said: "He never played that well for us, but we note that he did perform like this when he previously played for Sussex in 2006 and 2007. It can't be a coincidence: such overperformance must be questioned."

Sussex were not available for comment, preferring to smile quietly to themselves instead.

Robbo: love-dealer?

Opening match of the season: Grade A

And it's now, now that we have won our first match of the season, that we can finally start to move on from Relegation Saturday. Despondance has been replaced with hope and not only that, we're finally playing teams we can beat! I must admit that when I saw that our first match of the season was away to Glamorgan starting on the 9th April, I assumed the game would get washed away. But no, the weather was on our side, and it was great to see (metaphorically speaking, via Cricinfo/Radio Sussex/texts from Dad) our side blossoming in the April sun. This was a proper team victory, one to which everyone contributed, the very best sort. There was an hour today, before lunch, when I started to get a sinking feeling that the game was going to fade into a draw. But who came to the rescue?! If only players were like buildings, and we could get a conservation order for Chris Nash ruling that he can never be changed, broken, misused or stolen. He is fast becoming the epitome of Sussex cricket and the new heart of the team. Long may it last!

Chris Nash: Listed Player.

Chris Adams: Take note.

It is never too early, I find, to check the table and confirm that we have gone from near the bottom (for alphabetical reasons only) to near the top. I do find myself slightly annoyed that some other teams had the cheek to win too, which spoils what would otherwise be a perfect Championship table, but I guess there has to be some give and take on these matters.

Meanwhile, on RHB-Watch, it looks like life at Surrey hasn't started too well. As if it wasn't going to be hard enough with all those proper grown-ups that he has to manage, some wise spark thought it would be a good idea to sign cricket's answer to the naughtiest boy in the school, Andrew Symonds, and throw him into the mix too. How can little Rory, even with his best prefect face on, boss around someone like that? All I can assume is that Chris Adams will be in charge of ensuring that Symonds is well behaved/turning up to matches/sober and will be the one playing Bad Cop to Rory's Good Cub. Two hours after we won our match, Surrey lost their first match of the season. Rory didn't get any runs. This provokes more complicated feelings than one might have thought. Firstly, I still think of Rory as sort of ours & don't want him to have a dreadful time. On the other hand - Surrey: ha! Can't just build a team like lego, can you?! But thirdly, I still would have preferred a draw - the fewer teams that win matches, the better. And fourthly, we play Surrey next and only a very naive person won't be fearing that that will be the match when Surrey (& Rory) come good...

PS Welcome home, Rana!

Please let it be Rana!

Come on Sussex, put me out of my misery. You can't just dangle the idea of Rana coming back to Hove and then go all quiet about it again. Sign the man up! We all know he loves us and that if he's going to be the old Rana again then it's going to be with us and noone else. I know it's a risk but it's a risk worth taking; I promise.

There is something very unfinished about Sussex's relationship with Rana - I have been saying so ever since we let him go ( I was probably one of the few who seriously wondered whether we should keep him over Mushy). His poor form once he left us was due in part to the fact that he mashed up his shoulder for us up at the Riverside - but it was also due to the fact that quite clearly here is a man who needs to feel at ease with his team and valued by his club in order to perform. No wonder it didn't really work at Yorkshire. It never really seems to work with Pakistan. It's the ethos of Sussex that he fits - no egos & no divas. I don't think he ever really left us in his heart & I think Yorkshire knew it.

There's one thing, though. If we are to have Rana back (and in case I haven't made this clear yet, I really, really hope it is confirmed soon) then can we have it in the contract that he sorts his hair out. What's with this? Rana doesn't need hair, least of all the transplanted kind. He fits into an established Sussex tradition of players who don't need hair to look good and play well. (If it's good enough for Jason Lewry then it's good enough for Rana.) Come on, now, Rana - you were the lovely Rana without hair and you can be the lovely Rana without hair once more. Embrace it.

Less is sometimes more

More is sometimes strange

Hove in the Winter

On a visit to Brighton yesterday, we popped into Hove to see how it was doing. In anticipation of the summer, the skies were blue and the sun shone. The ground looked lovely ... and the Gilligan Stand has definitely gone (see film below). It's funny being at Hove out of season; it's like going into your friend's house when they're not there. You know it's allowed - but it still feels a bit like a guilty secret. A hushed quiet sits over the ground while it waits for the season to start. Less than two months to go...

Roll up, roll up!

In the spirit of generosity - as demonstrated by Arsenal this week - I am giving away free goals. I've studied the footage and I think I have the required skills-set to deliver free goals to anyone who fancies one. Just let me know when and where you would like one and I'll do my best to oblige...

Football

Something struck me this week when I was urging on Leeds to equalise on Wednesday night, a night after I was shouting on Crystal Palace in their FA Cup Replay. I have become a football tart. I am supporting teams all over the place. This is how it happens - if I find out someone I like genuinely supports a team with their heart and soul, I feel compelled to join in: to follow their team, to feel happy when they win and a bit sad when they lose, to know the team 'narrative' (ie what supporters believe will inevitably happen in various scenarios), to work out which other teams need to win and lose in order to help the progression of their team ... need I go on? This is a kind of madness, a strange kind of stalking in the friendliest of senses, an utterly exhausting form of adoption. And in addition to this I inevitably collect teams from places I've lived - it's impossible not to feel a little fond of a team when their injury scares occupy the back pages of the local paper and their shirt is regularly seen on public transport. But there's only so much healthy time that should be spent checking the scores and the tables ... and I am definitely doing overtime.


Arsenal, West Ham, Everton, Crystal Palace, Nottingham Forest, Leicester, Leeds, Brighton, Bristol Rovers, Dagenham & Redbridge, Rushden & Diamonds, & Hastings.


That's a full-time job isn't it ?


But then I realised what this was all about.

Winter is LONG.
 
Being a Sussex fan who doesn't live in Brighton means that much of my supporting is done via Desktop Scoreboard, Ceefax and texts from Hove. My summers are punctuated by regular score updates and I have become conditioned to need - perhaps even to crave - a year long diet of updated score-lines.

I am addicted to scores.

It's as simple as that. That's why I drop football teams as soon as the cricket season starts and why my peak 'foster a football club' season is during the cold winter months. I'm not mad ... all I am doing is trying to find my substitute hit.

Dream Season Ticket

The first day of play at Hove in 2010: Sussex win the toss and choose to bat. The moment before the first ball of the day is released is held in the eyes of the crowd, and the significance of that first indentation into a season lingered upon. First ball, Joyce is out. We groan. Nash hits a couple of driving 4s and is then promptly caught ... off a no ball. We breathe deeply. When lunch arrives, Sussex are 48 for 1. A few hours later we are 181 for 5. And then before we know it, we are 280 all out. Only Nash has played an innings of any significance with the other players behaving more like skittles than batsmen. No matter, we say defiantly - it's probably the wicket; we'll do the same to them...


But I will never know whether we did bowl them out for less than 200 and go on to win the match, because at that moment I woke up. Yes, there may be 3 months to go until the season starts in the real world, but my sleep season started at the weekend. Just as real as the real thing, with its moments of disasterous batting and resolute optimism, and probably a lot warmer than the real thing (it was all blue skies and sun), my sleep season kicked off. Unpredictable (you never quite know when it's going to happen) but very cheap, this is the best winter membership you can get. The only annoying thing is that you never really get to find out any endings - I suppose it is a bit hard to stuff 4 day's play into one night's sleep - but you do get to watch lots of openings. So, as and when more dream play gets under way, I'll post the scores here ...

Top 10 Sussex moments of the decade...

Creating your own chart of best moments from a decade is hardly original, but it is strangely addictive - the sort of thing that snaps you out of sleep in the middle of the night, as you realise you have missed a key moment which deserves to fly straight in at number 3. Why did I find this so compulsive? Is it that in sorting and sifting through the past we can reconstruct and re-experience those highs which scarcely seem believable in retrospect? After all, many 'highs' from the last 10 years for Sussex supporters also involved an excruciating level of tension and agony, if not actual pain. The 'yes!' moments blurred with both the relief  that the tension was over and that you could breathe again,  and the shock that it had actually happened. In real life. To Sussex. Shock numbs the mind, protects you against the fear that this was the best ever dream but that in reality Lancashire did actually win. Maybe we can only experience the real feeling of the moment once it has gone - once it has slipped safely into the past, never to be changed. Then - remembering and knowing it can never be lost - the real beauty of the thing can be held to the light and appreciated. Or - maybe - I spent far too long listening to the charts when I was a teenager, wondering whether my favourite song has gone up one place or slipped down two, and this is my revenge on the cruelties and inconsistencies of Gallup? Or - maybe, I am just a total geek...

Number 10:
2009: Dwayne takes 4 wickets in an over against Notts. He then runs around the pitch for about 10 minutes celebrating. The Sky Commentary team are almost lost for words. I am not.


Number 9:
2006: Rana takes 4 wickets in an over at Lords while I am on a train in Corsica. The four hour journey across Corsica on a little juddery train took us through an incredible mountainous landscape; encased by the beautiful scenery and witnessing the drama of forest fires being soused by helicopters above us, for five minutes my phone buzzed almost constantly with the news of wickets falling at Lords. To be precise - 4 wickets in 6 balls. The gorgeous Rana. Much missed.



Number 8:
2001: Jason takes a hat-trick against Hampshire at Hove in his first over of the day. This was the first time I had ever seen a hat-trick live. After all those years of getting hammered by other teams, the tide turned. Here we were, doing it to other teams; here was Jason at his best.


Number 7:
Autumn 2006: Chris Adams comes back. Memories of the past will not be tainted by the present. It had been a dull, everyday sort of day, cold, wintery, tired. Got home from work and received a text from dad: CHECK CEEFAX PG 344 NOW! NOT A JOKE! And there it was - the news that Chris Adams had changed his mind about Yorkshire & was coming home to Sussex. Totally unexpected, totally unthinkable (we'd all seen him holding the new shirt on Sky Sports News), totally brilliant.


Number 6:
2006 Championship- getting the phone call from Notts at lunchtime whilst I was at work. Doing a little jig in the corridor. Going back into the office afterwards and pretending to be normal.


Number 5:
2008 Pro-40 'final'- I had totally given up. Had started to do some work on the sofa in front of the match. Not allowing myself to believe it could happen, instead I congratulated us on not giving up & on making Notts work for it. That final over was incredible. The faces on those Notts fans in the crowd when Sami swung that ball down behind the wicket for 4. They couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it. Murray Goodwin believed it. Final ball. "It's a big six, it's a huge six, it's an all the way six, yeeeeessssss! It's Sussex by the sea!"


Number 4:
2009 20-20 Final: this was the least tense I have ever been before a final or a 'big' match. A week in Sorrento leading up to the Saturday did wonders for pre-match nerves. On the day, I felt excited, not scared. Sussex were perfect. No angst, no heads in hands, no sense we had thrown it away. We were unbeatable and the commentators waxed lyrical about us. " There is an attitude and then there is the Sussex attitude." It was like watching a film about some brilliant team and then realising with awe that this was SUSSEX!


Number 3:
2006 C&G Trophy - The best thing about this one was that by the time Sussex started bowling I had not only resigned myself to losing, I had rationalised and accepted it. My main target? For us to lose in a not too embarrassing way. Let's just say we totally exceeded that target. James Kirtley: hero.


Number 2:
2007 Championship. The pain! The agony! All of those hours and hours after our match had finished, waiting for news of how Lancashire were getting on at the Oval. Simultaneously dreading and willing text alerts to arrive with score/wicket updates.Wicket! Runs. Wicket! Runs. On and on it went like the fairground ride of your nightmares. Standing by our bench in front of the players' pavillion, looking up onto their balcony for signs and rumours and cheers and groans. The scoreboard tracking the Lancashire score. More hours passed. Finally - CORK HAS GONE! Hove erupts in relief and joy.


Number 1:
2003 Championship - obviously.  I was having a go at being self-employed at the time. Didn't get a lot of work done. Spent the day before that crucial bonus point was clinched attempting to work at home in London, trying to ration myself to checking the score on Ceefax every 15 minutes only. Failing. Deciding in the evening to go and buy some champagne to take down to Hove the next day. Wracked with guilt and agony once I'd bought it in case I was tempting fate. The journey down to Brighton the next morning, sitting on the train feeling all jingily jangily, wondering how everyone else could be sitting there so normally, as if it was a normal day. Sitting at Hove in the pavilion and waiting ... a beautiful blue sky day...
'Yes!'
Championship win stopped play, Champagne, photos, phone calls. An awful lot of newspapers bought the next day. And Sussex were in every one of them. History had been made.