Sky's the limit...

There are some good things to say about Sky's coverage of county cricket. For starters, they seem to show us an awful lot - more than our share, surely? Not that I'm complaining. Plus these days the pundits usually back Sussex to win when they do their little pre-match polls, which gives me a warm glow (as well, of course, as that sense of doom awaiting around the next corner). I will never be able to reconcile myself to Bob Willis or Paul Allott, but Nick Knight always seems like a lovely man and Ian Ward is reliably decent and occasionally surprising in a good way (e.g. when he's arguing about who's to blame for Yards being run out).

But some serious crimes are being committed.

Let's start with the clothes. Just who is responsible for those sand chinos they are all forced to stuff themselves into? I'm not a great fan of uniforms, but if you're going to have one, why deliberately choose one which just makes your audience think of chedder cheese? It's just not flattering. Please - dark trousers are the way forward when you're on tv and you're the ex-sports people rather than the actual sports people. Accept it.

Next thing: danger men. Before every match, when the teams are put up on the screen, two players' names (one from each side) get coloured in red. This is because they are the danger men, we are told - with special emphasis. (Am I the only person who immediately thinks of Dangermouse?) This title generally goes to the player most likely to hit the ball a long way. Have they noticed yet that this title is also the kiss of death? Why did Luke get out immediately? Because he was Sussex's danger man. Why did Gilchrist get out immediately? (great ball, Yas!) Because he was Middlesex's danger man. Why did Dwayne knock the ball around the ground? Because, on this occasion, since Luke was playing & Sky love Luke (as do we all), Dwayne wasn't the danger man. And why is it that the players who consistently and quietly provide the force to win the matches (& consistently pick up the man of the match awards too) are never the danger man? It's because the allocation of the title danger man is actually the equivalent of cricket's glamour award given to Sky's current cricketer crush. This is why James Kirtley and Michael Yardy will never be the danger men, whilst simultaneously ensuring that if they play well, Sussex will win.

Chedder Cheese

And finally - when will Sky notice that those silly questions they make the players answer before matches, so that 'interesting' facts about them can be displayed when they come out to bat, are treated with the derision they deserve by the players? 'Hmm', said Ward doubtfully at the revelation that Girls Aloud are Chris Nash's favourite band, as though every ounce of Chris Nash was being re-evaluated in the light of that knowledge. 'Dwayne Smith's lookalike is apparently Corey Collymore', stated Allott with the air of a man who really thought this might be possible. I'm going to break it to you gently, boys - they're winding you up.

But none of this detracted from an excellent Sussex win on Thursday night! When we were 30 something for 4, I must admit that I was just hoping we would get to 100 so that it wouldn't be too embassassing. But you know how it is with Sussex, there is also always that voice whispering - you never know, we might still do it. And do it we did, looking thoroughly the business in the field. So well done Sussex, on an emphatic start to the 2020 campaign - great work so far; I'm feeling the pride... (but please play properly against Derby in the CC)...