lover's lament (new poll at bottom of page)

Santa Adams' delivery of a new shiny captain just in time for Christmas may have bemused, intrigued or delighted Surrey fans - but it has certainly left Sussex fans with some unwelcome indigestion. For most of us, this all started as a rumour dismissed out of hand as a joke - as if, we thought, and moved on seamlessly to develop an addiction to the trailer for the new Sussex dvd, whilst pondering the 2010 fixtures and dreaming of the summer. (It is official, by the way, nothing makes you feel more like you're in division 2 than seeing who you are playing in division 2 published - I had forgotten that some of these teams even existed...)

The evolution from joke to actuality has been an uneasy path - from ha ha to really? it's true? how crazy! to obviously he will stay to noooo ... pleeeease stay to bugger, he's gone. And now I just feel like a fool for not seeing what must have been going on behind my back all along. So there we Sussex supporters huddle, like a collective jilted lover playing sad songs in the dark, knowing we are going to see our former flame flaunted in front of us when daylight comes. I don't blame RHB - not at all, really. But the Adams factor is hard to take & I haven't decided how I feel about him yet. (Scroll right down to the bottom of the whole page for new poll on this.) I do hope that included as part of the deal was a hands-off our players for ever clause which Adams had to sign in blood.

Anyway, the deed is done. We will be ok - more than ok. I predict that Joe Gatting will score more runs than Rory next season, that Murray Goodwin will be back to his best, and that Chris Nash will have a storming season.  A welcome balm to help with the current pain would be the news that Hoddy has signed until 2012. Santa Robbo - please could you fix that one? As for Chris Adams, he may resurrect Surrey with this move; on the other hand, he might end up looking like a bit of a turkey... We will wait and see.

Bugger ... he's gone

sussex team of the decade

It's official, I think, that we have been the most successful team of the decade ... did I think I would ever be able to say that at the end of 1999?! What an excellent time it has been to be a Sussex fan. I am in the process of sifting through my most memorable (Sussex) moments of the decade, but while that's simmering away, here's my Championship team of the decade:

1. Monty
2. Nash
3. Goodwin
4. Yardy
5. Adams (c)
6. Prior (+)
7. RMJ
8. Rana
9. Mushy
10. James
11. Jason

A MINI-DRAMA...

... with apologies to Christopher Marlowe

Robbo: Good Angel?

'Sweet Rory, think of Sussex, and heavenly things.'

Adams: Bad Angel?

'No, Rory, think of Surrey and of wealth.'

Rory: Tempted?

'How am I glutted with conceit of this!
Shall I make my players fetch me what I please,
Resolve me of all ambiguities,
Perform what desperate enterprise I will?'

RORY! Read the script first:

'Till, swollen with cunning, of a self-conceit,

His waxen wings did mount above his reach,

And melting heavens conspired his overthrow.'

it's all in the name...

Well done, Will Beer, for being the latest Sussex cricketer who is not RHB to commit to a nice, long juicy contract with the county. He had a very interesting season with us last summer and has definitely proved that he has the character to compete for us in the tightest of situations. For me, anyone who has spent his whole life being called Will Beer and so has inevitably encountered a hundred very tiring jokes about all parts of his name since he was about 4 years old deserves respect. Presumably he has now mastered the art of not wincing or rolling his eyes when the latest unimaginative media pundit, reflecting on a Sussex win, quips that 'the drinks are on you, aren't they?' For that self-control alone, give the man a contract.

The very welcome news about Beer reminded me of something that happened last summer, down at Arundel for the 40 over match against Hampshire. A friend of mine saw a young lad wearing a Will Beer top hanging around the cordoned off area where the players sit, holding one of those miniature bats that kids get autographed. Now, along with a contract and a regular parking spot, you know you've made it when supporters start wearing tops with your name on. My friend was silently congratulating Will Beer on having achieved what is a significant milestone in any young county cricketer's life ... when the lad turned around. It was, of course, not a fan wearing a Will Beer top but Will Beer himself wearing (less surprisingly now) a Will Beer top.

Well, he might look a bit like he's skiving off last lesson on Friday afternoon to hang around with the big boys, but we think he is a star in the making - a Sussex star, I hasten to add, before anyone else gets any ideas...

too much too young

I could never be accused of overachieving - you might call me the comfort zone personified. Risks? No. I'd rather have a nice sit down. Try something new? Mmm, not sure - it looks kind of funny. I am the opposite of Icarus - you wouldn't catch me flying a bit too high. No, I'd rather sit & watch the birds (martlets, obviously) from a safe distance. Preferably in a deck chair.

Perhaps this is why all the talk of Rory Hamilton-Brown being offered the captaincy at Surrey at the age of 22 has made me feel a bit queasy. It's not just that it would be dreadful (DREADFUL! Do you hear me, Rory Hamilton-Brown in Rory Hamilton-Brown world?) to lose such a rising star from our team when we had pretty much written you into our future narratives (you know, the ones that involve our plucky fightback to division 1 next year). It's not just that it would be dreadful (DREADFUL! ) to realise that we really are just the little team, who can be bought up by the much bigger team, who are basically being a bit like a slightly crazed Man City (sorry Chris Adams, but it's true). It's not just that it would be dreadful (DREADFUL!) to not be allowed (by myself) to like Chris Adams as much any more because he's trying to nick our team, when really I should be allowed (by myself) to like him forever for being such a legend at Sussex (I think the technical term for that is cognitive dissonance, & I bet they weren't words you were expecting to be reading).

No, it's not just those DREADFUL things. It's also because the thought of someone who is 22 & who has only played a handful of games being made captain (& captain of a team of proper grown-ups, too) scares me. It scares me so much that I have to keep reminding myself that it's not actually me who's been offered the job, it's Rory Hamilton-Brown (what can I say? empathy has always been a weakness of mine). It would take a brave, brave person to say yes. And imagine if he pulled it off? Imagine if he were a huge success. Imagine if he stays there for 15 years and is responsible for the most successful years in Surrey's history? (Imagine dramatic music playing now...)

But it's not a film, is it? And I just can't imagine all that happening except in a film. If I was Rory Hamilton-Brown, I'd be sitting in a corner of a dark room feeling too scared to come out. No, I wouldn't. I would have already said no & signed a contract extension for 10 years at Sussex. But there's a reason why I'm not a professional sports person & it's not just that I'm a bit of a lazy arse with a weakness for oreo biscuits. It's also that the thought of putting myself on the line so publicly when you don't really know at all how it might work out is really too traumatic to contemplate. No, I prefer a safer, easier existence.

If he goes, then we will be gutted, but also - perhaps - a little amazed (& impressed?) that anyone might have the confidence to take that on. But I hope he stays. It would feel like a victory not only for Sussex (& our team spirit) and smaller clubs across the country, it would also feel like a victory for me. Smaller steps, Rory, smaller steps. Sussex can take you where you want to go ...in the end ... the safer way.