Rana under the spotlight again

The pitch inspectors weren't interested at Bristol, but rumours suggest it's only a question of time before the player inspectors accuse Rana Naved of overperformance. After all, the evidence is there for all to see. In his first match back for Sussex this summer, Rana sent the stumps clattering and the batsmen back to the pavilion with the ball, gathering 7 wickets; he was also on fire with the bat, smashing 68 runs (not out) on a wicket which saw most (Surrey)batsmen scambling to reach double figures. All this from a man who barely made an impression with bat or ball over the last two seasons when playing for Yorkshire.

Rana: too good?

The reason for such immediate and impressive quality performance? Suspicions have been raised that Rana has been taking the little-known performance enhancing drug, phasmatis sussex per profundum (also known as the spirit of sussex), a stimulant which raises self-esteem, creating emotions of love and well-being, and a general sense of belonging. With the spotlight now on Rana's excellent performances, insiders suggest that there is growing pressure on all of the Sussex squad to be tested for the drug after a decade of overperformance which has seen them collect numerous trophies. Mark Robinson, the club manager, will be under particular scrutiny having openly spoken about the family atmosphere at the club and the focus on team-work at the expense of ego.

A statement issued by Yorkshire County Cricket Club, Rana's previous county, said: "He never played that well for us, but we note that he did perform like this when he previously played for Sussex in 2006 and 2007. It can't be a coincidence: such overperformance must be questioned."

Sussex were not available for comment, preferring to smile quietly to themselves instead.

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